Why ARE Men Happier?

A little off-color but even I need to lighten up sometimes...author unknown. -Jen

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?  Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans  take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a  water park. Car Mechanics tell you the truth.

The  world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station  restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and  think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.  Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.  The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes  don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about  tanks. A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase . You can open all of  your own  jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be  your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.  Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have  strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your  clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same  hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades. You only have  to  shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your  life. Your belly  usually hides you big hips. One wallet and one  pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no  matter what how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket  knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. 

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.  No wonder men are happier.

Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it.

Read also: "Send in the Moms"

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Three-year-old Katie was taken to her pediatrician during a recent bout with the flu. As the doctor peered into her ears, he asked, “Is that Mickey Mouse in your ears?”

Katie, not a huge fan of Mickey Mouse, replied, “No.”

Undaunted, the pediatrician looked down her throat and asked, "Is that Donald Duck in your throat?"

Again, “No.”

A little frustrated at Katie's lack of appreciation for his cartoon characters, he listened to her heart and asked, "Is that Barney I hear in your heart?"

Katie, a little exasperated by the antics of the doctor, looked him straight in the eye and explained, “No! Jesus is in my heart. Barney is on my underwear!”